


tried carrying the weight of the world (but i only have two hands)

by byunbunnie



Category: TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Family Feels, Fluff, One Shot, Photographer! Yoongi, Self-Indulgent, Sexuality Crisis, Short One Shot, busker! jungkook, but minor, its just sweet, long title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:53:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byunbunnie/pseuds/byunbunnie
Summary: jungkook is worried that hes not a good enough guardian for beomgyu and he goes to yoongi for reassurance~the completely self indulgent fic i wrote about elder brother jungkook
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	tried carrying the weight of the world (but i only have two hands)

It was moments like this that made Jungkook realize how in over his head he was. Being an older brother used to be hard enough, Beomgyu would always come to him hassling him for money and asking for help with his frustratingly hard maths homework. Gyu still does both of those things. But when Jungkook became his legal guardian he expected things like paying for new school books and doing laundry, not dealing with his younger brother’s gay awakening crisis. 

“Hyung,” Beomgyu whined, lifting his leg off the couch to not to gently nudge Jungkook out of his thoughts. 

“Ah sorry…What was the question again?” Jungkook asked dumbly, drifting his eyes over the TV, both brother’s favourite anime long forgotten. 

Beomgyu shifted in his seat before replying, “I asked you how you realized you.. uh.. liked boys..”

Jungkook finally looked over to his younger brother. His panicked eyes were darting all over the small living room, not really looking at anything in particular, one of his hands was reached to his ear, fiddling with the multiple jewelleries there and his leg that wasn’t stretched across the couch was bouncing up and down. Jungkook recognised all these habits, they were habits he did himself when he was feeling nervous or awkward, that Beomgyu had probably picked up from him. 

Jungkook cleared his throat before shuffling towards Beomgyu, lifting the others leg and placing it on his lap. Beomgyu turned his head to look at him expectedly, his hand coming down to rest in his lap. 

“Erm, it was in second year of high school I think, the same age as you are now. And at that time I didn’t really realize I liked boys, I just knew a liked one boy. It was only later that I realized that I only ever had crushes on boys and that I was super gay, and not just super in love with Mingyu.” 

Beomgyu whipped his head to look at Jungkook, eyes glinting with an all too familiar mischief and a grin spreading on his face. Beomgyu’s leg shifted in his lap and Jungkook was glad that the others mood had shifted, even if it was at the sake of embarrassment. 

“You had a crush on Mingyu hyung? As in school captain and teenage heartthrob Mingyu?”

Jungkook groaned and hung his head, “Yes that Mingyu! Geez don’t make me regret telling you.”

Beomgyu stop giggling and took a breath, his face stoic again. “How did your coconut headass ever think he would have a chance with THE Mingyu?” 

“OI! You were the one that asked!” Jungkook burst out, gripping the younger’s foot on his lap and ripping off his sock, chucking it across the room, Beomgyu’s giggles abruptly stopping. 

“HEY!” Beomgyu yanked his foot back, but the damage had already been done. Jungkook looked at where the sock landed on the kitchen counter and grinned, eyes flickering to Beomgyu’s other foot which was still undefended. 

Beomgyu saw his glance and glared at him, immediately bringing his foot up to fold under himself. “Don’t you even think about it.”

“Well maybe,” Jungkook stifled his laughter as he saw the other still glaring at him, “you should’ve just gotten to the point instead of slandering me when I just answered your question.”

Jungkook could see the moment that Beomgyu’s mood deflated again, eyes flickering back to the TV and fingers moving to fiddle with the worn-out cushion of the lounge. Jungkook waited for Beomgyu to start speaking again, knowing that there was obviously a reason the other brought up the subject. 

“Well… There’s this guy I like.”

There it was. 

“Ooh, do I know him?”

Beomgyu turned his head towards the window before answering, the afternoon sun catching his light brown hair on its slow descent. “Erm…It’s Yeonjun.”

And alright, maybe Jungkook wasn’t that shocked. Like at all. Not with the amount of times that Jungkook had stumbled into their shared room late at night, exhausted from his performance, to find Beomgyu and Yeonjun on the top bunk huddled around Jungkook’s laptop and watching vine compilations, giggling like mad. 

Jungkook opened his mouth to speak but was cut off immediately. 

“But I don’t know if I like like him or I just like him in like a best friend way. Like you know, maybe I just like him a little bit more than I like my other friends.. Not that I don’t like my other friends! I just don’t like them the way I like Yeonjun and- “

Jungkook put his hands on Beomgyu’s shoulders, “Calm down my dude.”

Beomgyu sucked in a shaky breath and melted into Jungkook, the latter wrapping his arms around the boy and leaning them both back on the couch. 

“You don’t need to know everything right now, its ok to be confused. How about you invite Yeonjun to come to Hongdae tonight?” Beomgyu leaned away from Jungkook, a questioning look in his eyes. 

“You were gonna come with me to Hongdae tonight right? To watch me perform?” At Beomgyu’s nod, Jungkook continued. “Invite Yeonjun and hang out with him tonight, and just think about things. Sorta like pretend it’s a date, and like see you feel.”

Beomgyu jumped up and grabbed his phone. “That’s a great idea Hyung! Thank you so much, I’m gonna text him right now!”

The younger beamed at him before skipping down the short hallway to their room, eyes glued to his phone. 

Jungkook let out a sigh and leaned back on the couch before forcing himself to stand, dragging himself to the other side of the room and knocking on the closed door.

“Hyung? Can I come in?”

Jungkook heard a shuffling on the other side of the door, then a low mumble and took that as his queue to enter. Upon entering he scanned the dark room, eyes skipping over the familiar camera equipment scattered around the room until his eyes zoned in on the only light source, Yoongi sitting at his desk on his computer. The files open on his screen indicated to Jungkook that he was editing photos from their last shoot, a couple’s wedding photos. 

“You know I didn’t let you two move in with me so I could listen to your sibling quarrels,” Yoongi spoke without glancing up from his computer, but there was no malice in his voice. 

Jungkook grinned and then flopped on Yoongi’s bed, cuddling one of the pillows as he spoke. “I know Hyung, you let us move in because you couldn’t get enough of me at work and just had to see me more.” 

Yoongi huffed and continued clicking his mouse. “You’re such a brat, what did you even come in here for?”

“Can’t I just come to you ‘coz I wanna be with my favourite hyung?”

“Not when I know you have to go perform soon. Now spill, I have to finish editing these by tonight.”

Jungkook groaned and buried his face in the pillows, he stayed quiet for a moment before quietly admitting, “I miss my parents.”

Jungkook didn’t look up but heard Yoongi swivel around in his chair to face him, staying silent to let Jungkook continue. 

Jungkook sighed and flopped to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he spoke. “I just wish they could be here for Gyu now that he needs them. When I was his age and realized I wasn’t straight I talked to my mum and she helped me so much. It just sucks that Gyu can’t have that as well, he has to settle for my crappy advice instead.”

“You know, Kook, I’m sure whatever you just told Gyu you learnt from your mum. So, I’m sure it was good advice.”

Jungkook turned his head to look at Yoongi, “No, it was pretty shit advice. Like I don’t even know if I can call it advice.”

Yoongi sighed and brought up a hand to rub his forehead. “Ok, so what it was crap advice. You’re his older brother, and of course he’s gonna come to you about these things. The fact that you have had the exact same experience as him just proves that you’re more than capable of helping him figure this out.”

Jungkook let out a whine and rolled over on the bed, the soft comforter wrapping around his body. “I know hyung, it’s just so hard. I’m worried I’m not enough for him.”

Jungkook heard Yoongi getting up and moving closer to the bed, then felt a hand on his shoulder, rolling him till he was facing up and staring at Yoongi’s face. In the almost two years Jungkook had been living with Yoongi, he had learnt to read the others face quite well and now he could feel nothing but warmth coming from the older’s gaze. 

Yoongi stared at him for moment before flopping onto the bed next to him, yanking the blanket off Jungkook to wrap around himself. Upon hearing Jungkook whining again, Yoongi just sighed and draped the blanket over both of them, reaching to hold Jungkook’s hand under the cover. 

“You know, you’re his only family, of course you’re enough for him. You’re doing your best and that’s all he can expect from you. And I’m here to help when it gets too much…Just don’t ask me to give him the talk or anything.”

Jungkook let out a laugh and bumped his shoulder into Yoongi’s. “Don’t worry hyung, I’ve already decided that he can just figure that shit out by himself like I had to… But thank you.”

Yoongi grunted and pulled himself away from Jungkook, going back to sit at his desk. “I finished editing that song for you by the way, gimme your phone.”

Jungkook jumped up from the bed, sending pillows and blankets alike flying off the bed. He reached out to Yoongi and handed over his phone, watching as he plugged it into his desktop. 

“Thank you so much hyung!”

“Eh, it’s no problem. Although I don’t know why you even wanted me to edit a Hyuna song for you?”

Jungkook snatched his phone back before replying, “People love it when I perform girl group songs, the sexier the better. I can’t help it if these hips were destined for more than boy group dances.”

Yoongi took one glance at Jungkook wiggling his hips in his direction and reached an arm out to shove him toward the door. “Get outta here I’ve got work to do and you have to get ready to leave.”

Jungkook looked at the time on his phone and saw that Yoongi was right, he had an hour until he had to leave and he still had to get ready and warm up before hauling himself and his equipment to the streets of Hongdae. Not to mention he still had to find a place to perform…

“Alright Hyung, I’m leaving.” Jungkook paused at the door before leaving, turning around to face Yoongi one more time and speaking. “You know Hyung, you’re our family too now.”

Yoongi turned to face Jungkook and smiled softly, “I know kid.”

Before Jungkook could reply with some joke to get rid of the sappy mood Beomgyu came barrelling into the room, heading straight to Yoongi. 

“Hyung can you please help me do my eyeliner?? I keep poking myself in the eye..”

“Sure kid.”

Noticing that Yoongi’s attention had now completely shifted to Beomgyu, Jungkook spared them one last glance before slipping out of the room, hearing Yoongi call out to him one more time. 

“Don’t forget to dress your magic hips in warm clothes tonight!”

***

(“i swear to god jungkook why is there a dirty sock on the counter”

“blame beomgyu, its his sock”

“… can’t argue with that”)

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic was originally meant to be the intro to a busker/street dancer bts taekook au,,   
> but i never ended up writing more than this but i was really proud of this because i improved my dialogue writing a lot in this ! so i wanted to upload this anyways,,  
> maybe ill write the fic as a collection of oneshots in a series ?? idk let me know if that something that anyone would actually be interested in lol  
> also the title is from wake me up by avicii (there is a really good cover of this song by a korean band called hoppipolla and i HIGHLY recommend)  
> as always thank you for reading! :)


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